PEAP #1 in honor of Alison, Philadelphia, PA

Art in Alison's honor, for teaching us something about how to be kinder to ourselves, Let go of judgment and be in the process of learning...

watercolor on paper 6.75 x 12 inches 

Below is what Alison Traweek wrote about her approach to the Positive Energy Art Project (edited down just a bit)


"...I'm at the beginning of my career in the Academy, and currently working on two articles that will, ideally, become my first publications. I am a strong writer, I even rather like writing, and my papers are both on topics that are interesting and important to me. Sounds great, right?

Yeah, I totally wasn't working on either of them. I'd gotten them off the ground, and then just stalled. If I had to explain the freeze, I'd say it probably has to do with fear of finishing!... Every outcome is scary, so I dug in my heels to prevent any of them. As anyone with tendencies to avoidance knows, however, avoiding doesn't actually help; you just become anxious and down on yourself, and the work still doesn't get done. 

So when it came time to think about where to focus my positive energy this week, I thought of Jen's observation that we often care for ourselves last of all. I decided to reframe my approach to my scholarship: I would no longer think of it as a process inevitably leading to negative and scary judgements in the long run, but rather concentrate on the way that deep involvement in and engagement with my work makes me feel better immediately, both because I legitimately enjoy my work and because I no longer beat myself up about avoiding it. Sitting down to work thus became a conscious double kindness to myself. I felt good about myself for working at all, and stimulated by wrestling with the intellectual problems my arguments presented to me. 

I can't claim that it was perfect - However, a week ago this article was just vague ideas and a pile of unread scholarship. Now it is a solid grasp of the bibliography, 4000 words laying out a pretty coherent argument, and a very nice feeling of confidence and accomplishment. Not bad for a week's work. And I have my work cut out for me this week: to get up the courage to actually follow through on the submission!

Optimistically yours,

Alison"